Programming Note

We made it to Grande Prairie, AB yesterday afternoon just before 3 p.m. and will be busy getting our visit on with Sloan and Laura for the next couple of days, so stay tuned for a full recap of events when all is said and done and it's time to hit the mountains!

Letting the good times roll,

The West Ed Mall!

Saturday, June 26th, 2010

START:  Shakers Acres Banquet Hall and RV Park, Edmonton, AB - 11:45 a.m. (& left Edmonton at 2:45 p.m.)

STOP:  Sagitawah RV Park, Whitecourt, AB - 6:45 p.m.

WEATHER:  Overcast in the morning; cleared up by early afternoon; beautiful for the rest of the day

The power really whomps at Shakers Acres (or Shady Lady if yer Maw).  We basically have to sit in the darkness, staring at the wall so that someone can use the hairdryer for 10 minutes.  And God forbid you should want to iron your shirt while someone's having a shower.  Speaking of shower, Dad had his first go in the mailbox this morning.  I don't know what you sound like when you shower, but Dad sounds a little something like this:  *@^*#*!  *@^!!  @*#^*^#!!!  As much as the idea of staying here one more night causes us zll to silently weep, the prospect of tracking down ANOTHER park in the area is enough to provoke downright sobbing.  But in the meantime, it's off to the West Ed Mall for some good old fashioned fun for the masses!

We made it to the mall from start to finish with not one wrong turn (applause) around quarter to 12, befriended a hotdog- and hamburger-like couple who pulled up in their big rig beside us (and left their truck running the whole time they were inside to keep their two puppies cool) and then made our way inside.  Our first stop outside the norm of one's usual day at the mall was the Galaxyland Amusement Park that was done up like something out of a Dr. Seuss book.  The biggest ride they had was the Mindbender roller coaster that goes up higher than you even want to look and involves three major loops.  Dad was considering it at first, but after watching it go once there were a lot of "Yeah right"s and "No fuckin' way"s happening, haha.  But Mike and I manned up and went for it, as you can see above (before take off) and I screamed my head off the whole way like I usually do while Mike held on to his glasses, and for dear life.  We made it through alive but just barely.  Mike:  "You can feel your own mortality come knocking at your door." Mom couldn't even bear to watch the rides never mind contemplate getting on one, so after that we moved on to the next.  The next was a huge skating rink in the middle of the mall, which of course we were not prepared for, and the World Waterpark, which was enormous and like it's own resort, plus bungee jumping if you were in the mood to have your life flash before your eyes.  Lastly was the marine life and Deep Sea Adventure which involved little bumper boats you could drive around in and spray each other with, sea lion shows, and an underground aquarium (where Mike wanted to free all of the creatures.  Stay tuned to the evening news.)  All in all, we were only in there for a total of three hours but it's obvious that you could set up shop in there for days and never get bored.

After the mall, there was a change of plans and we decided that we might as well hit the road since it was still early instead of returning to the dim bulb that was Shakers Acres.  We stopped in Whitecourt, AB where Dad was connected with his long lost BFF who worked at the auto parts store.  He basically mapped out our whole route once we start heading to B.C. to make sure we hit the most scenic parts and was wiling to sit there all day answering Dad's questions if he'd wanted.  Thanks auto parts man!

So by this time it's become tradition to find a useless campground before ending up at yet another RV park.  Imagine if we planned ahead?  I'd have nothing to write about.  On our way to Carson-Pegasus Provincial Park, just outside of Whitecourt, AB, Beula took on another persona, Bellowing Beula, in light of what appears to be her latest problem - some kind of muffler issue.  We sounded like a Nascar trying to rev our way up a hill, which got us all real excited for when we have to drive through the mountains.  Alas, we pulled up to the park and were DENIED since, "Well, no, we don't have any power sites on a SATURDAY."  Excuse you, park lady.  So we backtracked about 15 minutes to Sagitawah RV Park (complete with petting zoo) and settled in for another night.

Some highlights:

Mike:  "Do you have any of those white, plastic hooks that you stick on the back of the door?"
Mom:  "No."

Mike:  "Awwwwwwwww."

Mom:  "What?  I'm not a plethORA of dollar store items!"  (Mom thought you'd like that one, Val.)

And a little back story for this next highlight.  Mike likes to "pwn" Mom every chance he gets.  For anyone not in the know, "You got pwned" = "You got owned."  If you still don't know what I'm talking about, you're beyond any help I can offer.  ANYWAY, Mom was off doing yet more loads of laundry and came back to report, "That woman in the laundry room got owned because she didn't move her laundry along and now I took her dryer so I left her a note saying, 'YOU GOT PWNNNNED!'"  Mind you, this was done in her very best Mike impression which caused laughter until tears on my part.  Maybe you had to be there, but it's worth documenting just for our own purposes, haha.

So provided we don't get stuck here an extra day if Dad can't fix Beula's ailments, and until the RV repair shop nearby is open for business on Monday, it's off to GRANDE PRAIRIE tomorrow to see LAURA AND SLOAN!

Keep your fingers crossed that Beuls doesn't kick the bucket somewhere deep into the heart of Grizz territory.

Letting the good times roll,

Elk Island National Joke

Friday, June 25th, 2010

START:  Saskatoon RV Park, Saskatoon, SK - 10:20 a.m.

STOP:  Shakers Acres Banquet Hall and RV Park, Edmonton, AB - 8:00 p.m.

WEATHER:  Overcast in the morning; sunny and lovely all day; then some kind of heinous hurricane/dust storm in downtown Edmonton

Sorry for the delay in posting today.  We got lives to live, yanno.

The RV parks are already starting to blur together so bear with me while I try to distinguish one morning's events from another's. I experienced mailbox showering firsthand and will applaud my brother on the accuracy of his description.  Cheez-Its, Mary, and Joseph.  Luckily, Mother Nature obliged my requests and grey skies began to clear up so we were able to sayanora outta Saskatoon and finally make our way to the Alberta border, and eventually Edmonton.

Given that we were on the road for a mind-numbing nine and a half hours today, there was plenty of time to scrounge up some good blog material, and as usual, the Perron fam did not disappoint.  Flying over a pothole leaving a gas station in Lloydminster, SK (the town sits right on the border, so there is also a Lloydminster, AB.  Wild.) our fridge proceeded to spew it's contents all over the floor since SOMEONE left it unlocked.  Hi, Dad!  So that was a special treat.  Next on the docket was the water tank that thought it seemed like a wonderful day to spring a leak but one quick stop at Princess Auto later and Dad had found some putty-like substance to plug it with and even a windshield chip repair kit!  Hooray!  We also made sure to park 40 miles away from everyone else this time, although as soon we stopped people began to surround us prompting Mike to yell, "Get outta here!" at them through the window, haha.  But luckily no bump and scrams today.

Now, I almost don't want to mention the name of this next town in case anyone reading this has ever lived there or knows people who do/have, but VEGREVILLE, AB (aka Vegetable-ville) is teeming with stunned hillbillies (& even a pinch of Amish - Mike: "The Amish don't shop here."  Me:  "Well, whatever, but I saw a lot of bonnets, socks and sandals.")  We stopped at a gas bar/No Frills and Lord hammercy.  It felt like we had entered some alternate yeehaw universe where the music from Deliverance plays on a continuous loop.  *Shudder*

We finally neared Elk Island National Park (the title should provide a little foreshadowing at this point) where we thought we'd batten down our hatches for the night, but turns out that all SIX of their camp sites were reserved.  I exaggerate a little, there were probably eight sites, but oh, yeah, they just keep letting people pay at the main gate and drive for miles until they reach Sandy Beach (No)Campground and have all their hopes and dreams dashed. Dad: "Well, that's a great system!"  Fortunately, it wasn't a total waste of an hour because we got up close and personal with three burly bison on the side of the road.  The one we saw on the way in was a little ways down a side road and even after all the friendly whistles and "Here boy!"s by Dad, he still wouldn't come any closer, hahaha.  The two we caught on the way out of the park were rollin' around in the dirt for a little fly relief, which is what ol' crazy eyes up above is givin' ya.  From there, we made our way a little further down the highway to the first RV park that popped up on Google maps, called Clover Court Motel & RV Park.  The owner of said dilapidated establishment was one (Mike:) "unsavory character" named Bob who was not in the office but could be found 'in Unit 10.'  Cue more Deliverance music.  Dad seemed to have interrupted ol' Bob from a dinner of rank onions and a quick rum snooze but Bob assured us that he had LOTS of sites available (imagine that) and to just take number three... free of charge.  So we hightailed it outta there before we ended up dismembered in the motel bathroom of Unit 10.  Roughly another three wrong turns later, we ended up at Shakers Acres Banquet Hall (ooh la la) and RV Park just west of downtown Edmonton after battling hurricane winds on the freeway.  That was Mom's second favourite part of the trip; the first being when she hit the floor in sheer terror while Dad pulled a Bert Perron in the middle of the highway after we missed our turn off.  For anyone other than Aunty Darlene, 'Bert Perron' is code for u-turn, haha.  But we arrived in one piece two and a half hours later at eight o'goddamnclock.  There were prairie dogs runnin' wild all over the park and Mike wanted to trap one as a 'vacation pet' but sadly they weren't lured by our honey roasted peanuts.

We had ourselves one hillbilly of an evening at Shakers Acres, since their power supply was on the fritz and the lights dimmed and brightened with each pop and push of the toaster.

WEST EDMONTON MALL TOMORROW!

Letting the good times roll,

A Saskatoon Reunion

Thursday, June 24th, 2010

START:  King's Acres Campground, Regina, SK - 11:00 a.m.

STOP:  Saskatoon RV Park, Saskatoon, SK - 5:45 p.m.

WEATHER:  Humid and sunny to overcast and seveeere thunderstormage

DAD FOUND HIS GLASSES!  He had left them in the office when he went to get a site at the campground yesterday morning.  You can all rest easy tonight since I know you didn't get much sleep last night wondering how it was all gonna turn out.

So our plan for today was to head towards Saskatoon so Mom could hopefully meet her friend Shelley FINALLY after over 10 years of friendship over the interwebz.  The story is that Shelley somehow kept getting random emails from Mom containing Dad's resume, even after Mom deleted it, so they decided that she either had to find Dad a job or they should probably just become friends.  Seeing as Shelley had no job prospects for Dad at the time, there was only one option left.  So we arrived in Saskatoon around 2 p.m. with me trying to map out our route and relay it to Dad in some kind of coherent fashion, as per the uuuusual these days.  With the hot laptop sitting on my legs and the sun beating down on me through the windshield, an hour later we still had not tracked down Shelley's location and had found ourselves in a Wal-Mart parking lot after having driven down yet another boondog road for a swell 20 minutes.  Mom called Shelley in hopes of having her guide us out of the mess we were in, but even she had no idea where we were, so I brought all of my fury with me into Wal-Mart and asked the greeter where on God's good Earth we were and eventually discovered we were only a five minute drive from where Shelley was at work.  At roughly 3:05 p.m. we pulled up in front of the school where Shelley works and her and Mom did their own version of a slow-mo run through the cornfields (across the road) towards each other, just happy to finally be meeting in person after all this time.  The fact that she was probably the nicest and sweetest woman that all of us had ever met definitely eliminated any prior frustration that was brewing only moments before in trying to track her down.  She came out and sat in Beula to chat and catch up for about 40 minutes before it was time for her to head back to work and for her and Mom to say their goodbyes after a quick photo shoot in front of Beuls.  It was a great visit and not only Mom but all of us were happy to have finally met the woman we'd heard so much about after all these years!

After that, it was time to find our way back to the highway and head out of town.  Beula's ability to merge is always a memorable experience.  Dad:  "All right boys, better start fading or we're all gonna end up in the fuckin' rhubarb!"  Hahaha.  (I hear that one's for you, Bob!)  Unfortunately, the weather took a turn for the worse and it looked like a pretty nasty storm was brewin' on the horizon so we stopped to grab gas and some Subway before figuring out our plan of action.  Mom:  "You don't want chipotle sauce?"  Mike:  "If you get that, you're gonna have to change your pants."  Dad:  "Oh, yeah.  Forget it.  Don't get that."  Hahaha, what? Bad memory, Pops?  Mike also discovered that the rectangular couch pillows unzipped and proceeded to take a sniff inside, prompting Mom to yell out, "Aw, don't smell that!  There's years of farts in there!"  Mike: "Pfft, people don't fart into the side things."  Good lord, classy bunch we is.

We eventually decided to keep driving and see how far we could get before being twistered off the highway by the storm, but roughly 10 minutes out of town it got to be more than we were willing to bear, so we pulled into a truck inspection station to wait it out for a few minutes (and also discovered that Big Beuls weighs about 14,938lbs.)  Dad eventually made the call to turn back around and head to the RV park we had just passed and call it a night, as the rain didn't seem to be letting up any time soon.  So we settled into our muddy site and Dad ran outside barefoot to plug us in and that was that.

Here's hoping Mother Nature take all her dumps overnight and let's us get outta here in the morning.

Letting the good times roll,

Saskatche-whaaaaat!

Wednesday, June 23rd, 2010

START:  Winnipeg, MB - 10:15 a.m.

STOP:  King's Acres Campground, Regina, SK - 7:00 p.m.

WEATHER:  Sunny/humid with sporadic downpours and apparently a big-ass thunderstorm over night that only Dad heard.  Suspicious.

Ben left this morning around 8 a.m. to catch his flight at 9 a.m. and once we were all showered and ready to go, it was on the road againnnn.  Prairie traveling definitely makes for some good snoozin' time, as I feel the picture above demonstrates quite nicely.  Such sights and sounds!  Imagine if I had missed that.  Also, apparently coffee cream is a blasphemous item in the flat lands as we have not been able to find any anywhere since leaving Winnipeg.  "Sorry, we're all out.  Tomorrow is dairy day."  Allllrighty then.  We just passed 93 cows, but that's fine.  And long gone are the days of deer and moose crossing.  We're in elk territory now.  None spotted yet, though - alive OR dead.

Today marked a rite of passage in my life as Paw finally pulled over and let me captain the ship we call Beula for an entire 40 minutes until a storm started to rage and I was almost blown into the ditch by one mother a-hole of a trucker.  Aside from that, I did pretty well and managed to keep her in the lane the whole time without eliciting the bellowing roar of the rumble strip on the side of the road.  We crossed the border into Saskatchewan around 3:15 p.m. and somewhere along the way gained another hour, now putting us two ahead of home time.  The ride was pretty uneventful for the most part.  Mike enjoyed a snack of peanut butter on a spoon while Mom caught some shut eye and I pored over maps in the front seat.  We eventually stopped in Indian Head, SK to fill up before tracking down Katepwa Point Provincial Park, which we thought would be our stop for the night (more on that later).  We almost made off without paying for our gas and Mike wanted to "pump and scram" - hahaha - but of course, we didn't.  So after asking the friendly gas attendant how to get to this provincial park, we drove for over an hour (so much for gaining time) down some winding, narrow road only to be told that NO, SORRY, YOU CAN'T CAMP HERE EVEN THOUGH IT SAYS YOU CAN ON THE MAP AND WE ALSO HAVE A CAMPING SYMBOL ON OUR SIGN.  I guess ol' gas pumper thought we just wanted to go park somewhere for an hour in our MOTORHOME.  Thanks for the tip.

We eventually stopped for the night 1km east of Regina at an RV park called King's Acres Campground where RVs are crammed one next to the other like sardines, with no lake and no fires allowed.  Oh, and they have seasonal campers.  Why you would want to spend your whole summer in a place like this is beyond me, but God bless.  We performed the ritual Shower of Sadness, where Mike pointed out that the area was under surveillance so that no passersby could "dump and scram."  So after finally finding a home for the night, we whipped up a delicious din of burgers, pasta, and salad, and Mom set off to do some more laundry - and then returned 10 minutes  later after not being able to find her way in the cozy little maze that was King's Acres Campground, haha.  She eventually tracked'er down and Dad and Mike were even able to rig us two whole channels to choose from on the TV.  The night ended in a frantic search for Dad's missing spectacles to no avail.

Stay tuned to find out how this developing story unfolds.

Letting the good times roll,

Chicks & Eagles

Tuesday, June 22nd, 2010

LOCATION:  Winnipeg, MB

WEATHER: Cloudy with sunny breaks and huuuumid (but no t-storms! Woo!)

Well, we thought we'd take Beula out on the town this morning just to check out the scene and find a Crappy Tire and maybe a Speedy Glass to fix the ol' chip in her peepers.  So we depart from the hotel around 11:30 a.m. and find the stadium where the concert's going to be tonight and then whaddya know, one street down we find a Crappy.  We pull in and Dad's wheelin' and dealin' through the parking lot like he's on a 10-speed when !*HJ#*HB#&*YU@O!U*@&HB#&!!!  SON. OF. A.  The chip in the windshield is the least of our worries now.  Beula just smashed the ever-loving shit out of a defenseless and unsuspecting Ford Escape, tearing off its left side mirror and proceeding to dent the front left fender and oh hell, why not, put a big scrape in the tire, too.  We didn't make off scott free ourselves, with a big soccer ball-sized hole (now covered ever so elegantly in a lovely shade of duct tape) on the back left side, mud flap hangin' by a string, and a sweet dent in the awning frame.  Looks like we don't have to worry about putting the awning down for fear it might not go back up anymore.  She's now a useless feature.  ANYWAY, even though everyone later admitted that their initial reaction was to peel outta that parking lot like a bat outta hell, we behaved as responsible civilians and decided to wait until the owner came out and lost his or her shit.  It turned out to be a Torontonian woman, currently working in MB, by the name of Francine who's life has apparently been the shits as of late, as she was "not surprised at all."  Sorry, France, wherever you are.  Hope this wasn't the final straw that sent you reeling over the edge.  But an hour or so later, everything was finally settled with the insurance and we bid Francey an apologetic adieu.  After it was all said and done, Ben said he had just been thinking to himself how well Dad maneuvered Beula around and then BAM!  But I guess it was bound to happen eventually.

So that being more than enough excitement for one afternoon, we wormed our way through traffic (& all of its dickheads - Dad: "What happened to fuckin' friendly Manitoba?!") and headed back to the hotel to sack out until concert time.  Our initial plan was to drive to the stadium and camp out in the parking lot until the doors opened and then wait for 83 hours afterward until the lot cleared out enough for us to weasel out with no further catastrophe to add to our record.  We quickly realized, however, that it was a madhouse downtown and  that was probably the worst idea we could've had so we aborted the mission and headed back to the hotel to catch cabs.  We split up with me and Ben in one cab and Mom, Dad, and Mike in the other.  Allow me this opportunity to mention how many times Mom had previously said, "Imagine if I forgot the tickets?"  Well..  I'll let you run with that.  Eventually they got there and we finally made our way inside to our seats. The concert was great. Aunty Buff, I tried to stuff Glenn Frey in m'purse 'cause he looked like the shortest one, but he got away!  Haha  But thank God, the weather held out and was perfect all night without a drop of rain.  I think the guy who came out screaming, "THAT WAS FANTASTIIIIC!" at the top of his lungs summed it up best.  We even managed to beat 25,000 people to the cabs when it was over and made it back in record time.

All in all, it was great weather, a great concert, and a great night - & I'll try to post more pictures soon!

Tomorrow, it's back on the road.

Letting the good times roll,

Hotel Camping

Monday, June 21st, 2010

START: Birds Hill Provincial Park, Springfield MB - 2:00 p.m.

STOP:  Winnipeg MB - 3:00 p.m.

WEATHER:  Overcast and rainy all day; cleared up in the evening

Today was a pretty low-key day compared to the way things have been going so far.  Mom and I decided to head to the showers around 9 a.m. - you know, when the average camper awakens and feels the need to cleanse - but arrived only to find that they were closed for cleaning from 8:30 a.m. to 9:30 a.m.  Superb planning.  However, we did see a doe (a deer, a female deer) right on the road on our way there, and came to quickly realize that they're roaming all over the campsites, so it wasn't a total waste of time.  It also turns out that the numerous rabid squirrels that I thought had infested the whole park are actually prairie dogs.  Who knew.  We eventually managed to shower, and did 42 loads of laundry that took approximately 13 hours since the dryers never actually dry your clothes and eat quarters like it's their last meal.

Before heading out, Dad replaced the fuel filter since Beuls kept taking a crap every time we tried to accelerate past 80km and now she runs like a dream.  We left the park around 2 p.m. and I took over as head navigatress to get us to the hotel and did a damn good job, if I do say so myself.  Not one wrong turn!  We made it to the hotel around 3 p.m. and proceeded to veg out for a few hours like a bunch of invalids.  As luck would have it, we ended up with a bum TV remote, so we called down to have someone bring us a new one.  Since we only booked one room for two adults, when the guy arrived, Dad and Mike both stuffed themselves into the washroom while Mom and I played it cool as the guy came right in the room and fiddled around with the TV box for what felt like three hours.  Then all was in working order, and we could flick to our hearts' content - except UH OH, WHO'S AT THE DOOR!? The repair man coming back to make sure everything was good to go.  Dad rolled off the side of the bed faster than I've ever seen him move, while me and Mom tried to block the doorway with our reassuring thank yous.  Hopefully he didn't see Dad's feet poking out from the edge of the bed or things could've gotten ugly for Mom and I pretty quick.

Ben fiiiiinally arrived around 8 p.m. so we sat around chatting for most of the night, and then it was up to the two of us to guard Beula for the night and camp out in the hotel parking lot.  Dad may or may not have packed two machetes and a shotgun, so we weren't exactly worried.  That was until we had a knock on the door from some man "down on his luck" who had locked his keys and wallet in his truck and had a running cab going to try to go get his second pair of keys and then get back to his truck.  After asking me creepy questions like, "Is your husband there?" and "Are you gonna be on the lot for the night?" he eventually left when I told him I had no money, and thankfully didn't pay us another moonlit visit.  After that, we thought it best we find out where the  His and Hers machetes were kept.  Ben: "Here they are.  Do you want yours?"  Hahaha.

Sweet dreams, y'all.

Letting the good times roll,

Mosquito Capital of Canada

Sunday, June 20th, 2010

START:  Sandbar Lake Provincial Park, Ignace, ON - 10:30 a.m.

STOP:  Birds Hill Provincial Park, Springfield, MB - 4:30 p.m. (although we arrived at our campsite an hour after that!)

WEATHER:  Beautiful the whole way with just a few cloudy moments

Woke up to a beautiful, warm, and sunny Fadder's Day morn, and presented Dad with his tree bark card and pressed leaf to show him our love and appreciation for all he's done for us.  HAHAHA. No, we had nothing for him.  But we figured it better we were out on the road livin' it up as opposed to sittin' at home and empty-handed, so our presence and constant bitching and moaning is present enough.  Love you, Dad.  And in all seriousness, we're all very appreciative of the days of tense and blustery driving he's put up with so far - and the countless "dickheads" he's encountered on the road.

We managed to avoid another morning of mailbox showering by making good use of the comfort station at the park, with no gruesome horror stories to report.  So after breakfast and cleaning up, it was time to hit the road in search of the Manitoba border.  We made a quick stop in Dryden for some Tim Hortons, since it was the first one we'd seen in roughly a day.  It also gave Mom the chance to pick up an application for Dad.  They were doing walk-in interviews right on the spot and everything!  Hahaha. He really loved that a lot.

T'was another long day of driving.  Dad came up with Beula's alter ego, Galloping Gertie, when she starts getting rambunctious going over hills and bumps.  Eventually, we crossed the border into Manitoba and realized we'd probably make it pretty close to Winnipeg today. Mom was getting a little carried away with her animal journal, writing down the location of every animal we passed, dead or alive.  After about the fifth dead deer, Dad put a stop to it.  "K, we just passed like five.  You're gonna fill that whole book with dead deer!"  We made a pit stop to grab some maps once we started nearing Winnipeg and Mom took pictures of me and Dad bent over them like a bunch of motards (see Mike for definition) trying to figure out where we were going to stop for the night - eventually deciding on Birds Hill Provincial Park in Springfield, MB, just outside Winnipeg.

We stopped at a grocery store before hitting the park to pick up some essentials, and then wasted almost an hour searching the parking lot trying to remember where we had parked.  LAWL - just kidding.  Subtle, Beuls is not.  We eventually reached the park and got lost for an hour (I sense a pattern emerging) since it's ENORMOUS and there's no one at the front gate or anyone who works anywhere that can tell you where to go.  Thank God we had reception so I could pull up a site map and discover that only a tiny portion of the whole thing is for camping.  So after yelling out "Cheez-Its Christ!" a million times (that afternoon's snack of choice) we eventually found the office and got ourselves a campsite.  We were pleasantly surprised to find it's only $15.75 for an electrical site here, as opposed to the $34.25 in Ontario.  We were not pleasantly surprised, however, to discover that Winnipeg is the actual MOSQUITO CAPITAL OF CANADA.  You can't even open your mouth without swallowing 87 of them.  Serves us right for going on about how few there were yesterday.

Mom whipped up a Father's Day din of steaks on the G. Foreman (pasta for Mike), corn on the cob, and taters and since we were held hostage by skitters all night, we didn't even attempt a fire and opted for episodes of Alf on DVD instead.

Tomorrow it's only a few minutes of driving before we reach the hotel in downtown Winnipeg and stay put for a day or two.  Ben (the bf, for anyone not in the know) gets here tomorrow and then it's the Dixie Chicks and the Eagles Tuesday night!

Letting the good times roll,

Time Travelling

Saturday, June 19th, 2010

START: White Lake Provincial Park, Godknowswhere, ON - 10:30 a.m.

STOP: Sandbar Lake Provincial Park, Ignace, ON - 7:00 p.m. home time/6:00 p.m. Ignace time.

WEATHER: Overcast; sunny breaks; torrential downpour; clear and sunny (but chilly!)

We were up and at'em around 8:30 this morning and got Beula back in bounding shape in record time, if I do say so myself. Dad and I went au naturale today, while Mom and Mike guinea pigged the shower sitch - and from what I hear, it's quite the experience.

Dad: "So how was the shower? Everything okay? Kinda like bouncin' around in a phone booth with water pouring on you?"

Mike: "Worse than that."

Dad: "Worse than a phone booth?"

Mike: "Yeah, it's like showering in a mailbox."

Hahaha, needless to say, I'm not all that upset that I decided to hold off in favour of the 'comfort station' at the next provincial park. But sooner than later I guess we'll all have to cram ourselves into that mailbox at some point.

It was also discovered this morning that Mom is the worst of the worst when it comes to ideal campers. While reading through the list of things NOT to do, Mom fit the bill on every one.

Do not snap branches or burn wood found around your campsite --> Guilty.

Do not peel bark from the trees --> Guilty.

Do not carve anything into the trees --> Not guilty, but she did suggest it.

DO NOT HAVE ANY FUN AT ANY TIME. We're obviously not guilty of that, but that's pretty much the summation of all of those rules. Also, keep in mind friends, the first tip for water safety is 'learn to swim.' Think about it.

Before heading out of White Lake, we stopped to perform the ritual 'Shower of Sadness.' This comes from the movie RV, in which Robin Williams is showered in fecal matter when trying to empty the poop tank. Dad also thought it might be fun to grab hold of the water hose and spray it at the window where I was sitting, 'causing me to recoil in horror thinking the Shower of Sadness had sprung a leak. What fun.

The drive was relatively uneventful today, aside from the transport that decided to do us a solid and launch a boulder at our windshield, causing it to chip. Sonvabitch. Mom had some kinda sticky sealant thing to put over it from the LAST window we had to get fixed though, so so far so good. We've also come to quickly realize that Beuls and gale wind forces are sworn enemies, as we are practically blown off the road every time a transport passes us from behind. Smooth sailing it is not. Reeeal excited for when it's my turn to take the reigns. You should be, too. Other than that, we played a few rousing games of 'let's-see-how-close-we-can-get-to-the-pilons-without-knocking-them-over' while passing through numerous construction sites. Two points so far.

Today's eight-hour journey wound down with a quick stop at a gas station where MIke deemed the bald, lanky gas attendant Howie Mandel and we all followed suit. It also involved a little time travelling on our part, since we are now an hour behind home time until further notice!  After paying for the gas, Dad came back in and announced, "Howie says we can stay here." However, while appreciative of sweet Howie's offer, we decided to venture the 11km down the road to Sandbar Lake instead. Upon arrival we discovered their handy (and by handy I mean not handy at all) self-registration system, and basically blew right through in search of an appropriate campsite, proceeding to blaze the wrong way down a tiiiiiny one-way dirt road, 'cause that's how we do. After discovering that the electrical posts were hidden 50 miles into the bush at each site, we tracked down the owners and found one with the outlets right on site and then proceeded to make a down payment of three arms and a leg for roughly 11 pieces of firewood - having learned our lesson after being harshly reprimanded for burning down our campsite the night before. After smoking Beula out trying to cook up a couple of pizzas, we enjoyed our expensive fire and then sat around being all family-like and watching Mike play video games before hitting the sack.

Dad would also like it known that so far, it's been relatively skitter-free. Here's hoping that doesn't change!

And MOM would like it known that she bought a plunger for the toilet. This may not strike you as odd, but the toilet empties into a black abyss. Chances of it getting plugged are slim to none. She basically laughed herself to sleep after Dad pointed it out.

Tomorrow we break for the border.

Letting the good times roll,

And We're Off!

Friday, June 18th, 2010

START:  Porcupine, Ontario – 12:30 p.m.

STOP:  White Lake Provincial Park – 6:30 p.m.

WEATHER: Downpour; clear and sunny; storm

So, as it turns out, posting might not happen as frequently as I had led you all to believe.  Turns out THERE’S NO RECEPTION ANYWHERE.  Luckily I brought my trusty notebook with me to keep track of all the day's events.

So it’s Friday morning, we’re almost ready to go and oh, what’s that?  The steps  that are supposed to automatically raise and lower decide they don’t want to work anymore.  So after much grunting and cursing on Paw’s part, he McGyvers them up for the time being, resulting in one small step for fam, one giant leap for momkind. 

One hour to go before take off.  “Mike, are you up?  We’re getting ready to go here!”  Stunned silence.  “Yeah.  Oh.. what!? It’s Friday!?”  Sweet baby J.  Not like ya had a month’s notice or anything.

Finally, after what seems like days, we’re loaded and ready to go!  A quick stop for Gravol, booze, and doughnuts and it’s nothin’ but open road.  A moment of sadness occurs when we go to honk at someone we know and the Cucaracha doesn’t play.  WT le F.  In all of Dad’s stereo installing, something must have been disconnected.  That something being the soul and lifeblood of Beula.  NO BIG DEAL.

We chose the route through Chapleau and then Wawa and saw some wildlife along the way.  A total of two bear, one rabbit, and two (maybe four) moose.  Passing a side road, Dad yells out, “Shit!  That looked like two moose in the ditch back there!” and frantically looks around wondering if Beuls is capable of a quick U-e in the middle of the road for a photo op (h'oookay).  Mom: “Two goose!?”  Me: “I don’t think he’d be having a big panic attack about taking a picture of two goose.”  Dad: “I wouldn’t have said two GOOSE.”  Hahaha... r-tards or what.

Roughly six hours later, we arrived at White Lake Provincial Park, approximately two hours past Wawa on the way to Thunder Bay.  It was pretty close quarters as far as our neighbours were concerned but aside from a handful of screaming children and a pack of rambunctious dogs, it was peaceful and serene.

Dad got a fire going with dead wood lying around in the immediate vicinit, which the park rangers really enjoy.  It’s not like they sell firewood at the park or anything.  So Mom’s down in the bush walking back with a handful of branches and a white truck pulls up.  Not knowing it was a park ranger (der) I yell out, “BUSTED!”  Needless to say, he told us to stop doing what we were doing while we played the dense, “Oh, we didn’t know" card, with the saw Mike had just been using laying on the ground in plain sight. HEYO!  And so begins our journey as the illegal firewood bandits of Canada.

We ended the night by watching RV (how apropes) and frighteningly enough, the realistic parts of that movie will exactly mirror our lives for the next month.   But we survived our first night, thunder storm and all.

On to the next!

(I experienced extreme frustration trying to maintain reception long enough to upload one stupid picture to no avail, so for the sake of my sanity and safety of everyone on board Beula, the pics will have to wait for now!)

Letting the good times roll,

BEULA: THE BEGINNING

Isn't she lovvvvvvvely; isn't she wonnnnn-DER-ful. Isn't she preeeecious, less than one minu - alright, so she's 20 years old. That only adds to her charm and numerous bounding capabilities, as far as I'm concerned. Ladies and gentlemen, family and friends, meet Beula the Bounder. This big, beautiful she-beast is the result of a 13-hour whirlwind tour to Hawkstone, ON with Pere and Frere (poor Mere had to work) that took place one fateful and rainy weekend back in April after Daddio spotted her big, sad face crying out to be loved on some Bounder pound website.  We were literally at the orphanage for less than an hour before having put down a deposit and turned around to endure another six-and-a-half-hour ride home.  A well-thought-out purchase, one might say.

Despite Dad's fears on having bought a lemon due to the love-at-first-sight reaction from his deranged children, all it took were some new tires, a good spit shine, and a carpet shampoo (oh lawd, that pink gag - I mean, shag carpet at the front; le barf) before she was runnin' like a dream and officially a new member of the family.  & I tell you all of this because that new member of the family is exactly what's taking us westward all the to B.C. (or so we hope.  Beula and mountain roads - tense) until we deem it fit to return home.

I won't lie; I never thought I'd actually see this trip come to fruition, but here we are.  Beuls is ready and waiting on the front lawn and Porcupine's version of the Griswolds are three days away from hittin' the road.  With Dad on extended vacation (ah hemm hemm) and myself heading off to school again in Toronto this fall, it's now or never!

So right click and save to faves because there are plenty of memories and mishaps (and a healthy dose of dysfunction) to come.

Tune in again Friday (June 18th) for a full recap of our first day in motion.

Letting the good times roll (HAHA, get used to it),