Elk Island National Joke

Friday, June 25th, 2010

START:  Saskatoon RV Park, Saskatoon, SK - 10:20 a.m.

STOP:  Shakers Acres Banquet Hall and RV Park, Edmonton, AB - 8:00 p.m.

WEATHER:  Overcast in the morning; sunny and lovely all day; then some kind of heinous hurricane/dust storm in downtown Edmonton

Sorry for the delay in posting today.  We got lives to live, yanno.

The RV parks are already starting to blur together so bear with me while I try to distinguish one morning's events from another's. I experienced mailbox showering firsthand and will applaud my brother on the accuracy of his description.  Cheez-Its, Mary, and Joseph.  Luckily, Mother Nature obliged my requests and grey skies began to clear up so we were able to sayanora outta Saskatoon and finally make our way to the Alberta border, and eventually Edmonton.

Given that we were on the road for a mind-numbing nine and a half hours today, there was plenty of time to scrounge up some good blog material, and as usual, the Perron fam did not disappoint.  Flying over a pothole leaving a gas station in Lloydminster, SK (the town sits right on the border, so there is also a Lloydminster, AB.  Wild.) our fridge proceeded to spew it's contents all over the floor since SOMEONE left it unlocked.  Hi, Dad!  So that was a special treat.  Next on the docket was the water tank that thought it seemed like a wonderful day to spring a leak but one quick stop at Princess Auto later and Dad had found some putty-like substance to plug it with and even a windshield chip repair kit!  Hooray!  We also made sure to park 40 miles away from everyone else this time, although as soon we stopped people began to surround us prompting Mike to yell, "Get outta here!" at them through the window, haha.  But luckily no bump and scrams today.

Now, I almost don't want to mention the name of this next town in case anyone reading this has ever lived there or knows people who do/have, but VEGREVILLE, AB (aka Vegetable-ville) is teeming with stunned hillbillies (& even a pinch of Amish - Mike: "The Amish don't shop here."  Me:  "Well, whatever, but I saw a lot of bonnets, socks and sandals.")  We stopped at a gas bar/No Frills and Lord hammercy.  It felt like we had entered some alternate yeehaw universe where the music from Deliverance plays on a continuous loop.  *Shudder*

We finally neared Elk Island National Park (the title should provide a little foreshadowing at this point) where we thought we'd batten down our hatches for the night, but turns out that all SIX of their camp sites were reserved.  I exaggerate a little, there were probably eight sites, but oh, yeah, they just keep letting people pay at the main gate and drive for miles until they reach Sandy Beach (No)Campground and have all their hopes and dreams dashed. Dad: "Well, that's a great system!"  Fortunately, it wasn't a total waste of an hour because we got up close and personal with three burly bison on the side of the road.  The one we saw on the way in was a little ways down a side road and even after all the friendly whistles and "Here boy!"s by Dad, he still wouldn't come any closer, hahaha.  The two we caught on the way out of the park were rollin' around in the dirt for a little fly relief, which is what ol' crazy eyes up above is givin' ya.  From there, we made our way a little further down the highway to the first RV park that popped up on Google maps, called Clover Court Motel & RV Park.  The owner of said dilapidated establishment was one (Mike:) "unsavory character" named Bob who was not in the office but could be found 'in Unit 10.'  Cue more Deliverance music.  Dad seemed to have interrupted ol' Bob from a dinner of rank onions and a quick rum snooze but Bob assured us that he had LOTS of sites available (imagine that) and to just take number three... free of charge.  So we hightailed it outta there before we ended up dismembered in the motel bathroom of Unit 10.  Roughly another three wrong turns later, we ended up at Shakers Acres Banquet Hall (ooh la la) and RV Park just west of downtown Edmonton after battling hurricane winds on the freeway.  That was Mom's second favourite part of the trip; the first being when she hit the floor in sheer terror while Dad pulled a Bert Perron in the middle of the highway after we missed our turn off.  For anyone other than Aunty Darlene, 'Bert Perron' is code for u-turn, haha.  But we arrived in one piece two and a half hours later at eight o'goddamnclock.  There were prairie dogs runnin' wild all over the park and Mike wanted to trap one as a 'vacation pet' but sadly they weren't lured by our honey roasted peanuts.

We had ourselves one hillbilly of an evening at Shakers Acres, since their power supply was on the fritz and the lights dimmed and brightened with each pop and push of the toaster.

WEST EDMONTON MALL TOMORROW!

Letting the good times roll,